Show and Tell

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.”-C.S. Lewis

I never related grief to fear before. The more I think about it, the more I see the comparison. I’m sad when I lose something that was close and important to me. When I lose a good friend, or a plan that I had been looking forward to for a long time doesn’t work out- I get upset.
This grief comes from fear- MY plans are ruined. I don’t know where to go next. MY friend isn’t there anymore- I don’t know who to turn to. I feel uncertain and alone. Then I remember God. And he shows me His reasons- he makes me rely on Him, not myself or others. These truths that “I know” are cemented into my being through such experiences- through grief.

Meditations in a Tool Shed

I like how CS Lewis does not discount either perspective in "Meditations in a Tool Shed." The point of view of the man in love is legitimate as well as the explanation of this phenomenon by a psychologist, a man outside of the picture. He emphasizes that we need a balanced perspective- understanding of both areas. Head knowledge without experience is meaningless. I can know all the facts and theology about God, but if I do not have a relationship with God I still don't know God. However, experience is best coupled with knowledge. Doctrines and theology add to one's faith and help to make it firm. Both are necessary for a balanced perspective of God and faith.

The Inner Ring

The little clicks or circles that C.S. Lewis is talking about in "The Inner Ring" reminds me alot of high school. I remember that I could not wait for college- I'd be free of clicks and jealousies that were so elementary. As I got older I realized that these things cannot be avoided. Everywhere I go there are groups of people who are and people who aren't. From school to the workplace, clicks are unavoidable.
I still find clicks annoying. I try to be accepting of everyone- to have true friendships like Lewis refers to in the end of the essay. These are the most valuable.

The Fall

Growing up in the church, attending a Christian school and now a Christian college, I've heard about "The Fall" alot. It's easy for me to forget what it means. I can get caught up in living my life, going through the motions of Christianity until the going gets tough. Things don't go how I want them to. I begin to question God. Then I try to fix them. I try to become the Christian I should be. It never works. I try to get to Jesus on my own. My faith is based on grace not works. On Jesus' death and resurrection. Yet somehow, I forget that so easily. This chapter was good for me to read, especially around Easter. It helped me gear my mind toward the abundance of grace God shows me each day.

Friendship

I found this essay very interesting. Lewis described friendship as both pure and unnatural. Biologically, humans do not need friendship to continue the race. Friends are not consumed with each other but with a common interest or vision. He says, "Lovers are normally face to face, absorbed in each other; Friends, side by side, absorbed in some common interest."

I find it interesting that Lewis distinguishes between friendship and eros. I don't think eros should exist without friendship. Ideally, a marriage should exist between the best of friends who share a common vision.

I did disagree with Lewis' thoughts on women. He talked about women and children as lesser than men. Men have the deeper, greater thoughts while women participate in meaningless chatter. He basically said that women and men cannot meet on the same level intellectually. I understand that he comes from a different era, but I still disagree. Some of my closest friends are guys. I enjoy deep conversations, I don't enjoy gossip or "meaningless chatter."

Eros

C.S. Lewis gave an interesting perspective of Eros in "The Four Loves." I usually think of eros as sexual desire. Lewis claims that eros is more complex than I consider it to be. Eros is not just sexual desire- sex is a result of Eros. Eros is romantic love- lovers are pretty much obsessed with each other. This love seems like the relationship depicted in the Song of Solomon. Lovers care not for themselves. They are concerned only with their lover.
Lewis cites benefits and dangers of eros love. Too often the church forgets that sex is a gift from God. We take sex too seriously. God has a sense of humor. There is a certain playfulness in romantic relationships. Lovers find laughter in all sorts of situations.
On the more serious side, Eros is a picture of Christ and the Church. A husband is to love his wife in the same way that Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. After that explanation, Ephesians 5:32 says"This is a great mystery- but I speak concerning Christ and the Church." We cannot understand the full depth of a true, loving, unconditional relationship. And somehow this is just the slightest picture of the love Christ has for us.
Like all things, eros can be distorted. Eros claims to be immortal, yet it is fleeting. This love does not last long, but lovers must learn to continue to love each other even when they don't feel like it. Eros can also be idolized. This is unhealthy for the lovers and for their relationship. Their love can be distorted into hatred and manipulation.
I agree mostly with what Lewis says. Two people in love often act on feelings and make rash decisions. It feels wrong not to act on their feelings. We would be wise to consider the warnings from the lovers in Song of Solomon 8:4-
"I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases."

The Sermon and The Lunch

There are many things the Christian community does not like to talk about. I attended Christian school all of my life, and I know that no one struggles with lust or sex. No one has even been exposed to alcohol. Sometimes, as Christians, we feel bogged down. We may not feel motivated to do our jobs or complete our schoolwork effectively, but this is the only thing we struggle with. Only bad kids drink. If someone thinks about having sex outside of marriage they surely do not know Jesus. These stigmas in the church are a hindrance to the community. Life is not that easy. To want to follow Jesus means to struggle. We're human even though we like to deny it.
C.S. Lewis alludes to the practice of oversimplifying life in "The Sermon and The Lunch." A preacher speaks about how character is built in the home. Lewis recalls his last dinner with the preacher's family. They argued and interrupted each other. The father spoke foolishly, the mother was hysterical. This is where character is built. Often times, family life is seen in a romantic sense. Familial struggle don't exist for Christians.
Struggles-familial, sexual, emotional- don't happen to good Christians. Because of this supposed fact, many struggle alone. They do not seek encouragement from their fellow believers. Instead of being real with each other, instead of standing in solidarity with each other, instead of being honest- too often believers try to patch up problems themselves. They put on their best face and hope no one sees their lives falling apart, lest they be shunned. This hypocrisy is something we need to fight against. After all, Jesus hung out with the tax collectors, prostitutes, and the diseased. He called the Pharisees "whitewashed tombs." What are we really? What do we pretend to be?